Shoppers stop

Ground floor, the perfume section was reminding me of her.
Second floor was the small little bookshop, which was okay.
Third floor, the in store music was playing singing in the rain…was amused. And that’s new…so I’ll do all right.

This past week had a birthday within it, am nonchalant about birthdays. Just another day in my book (I’m a boring and cynical human being)
But this year was different…was at a meeting, a colleague told the client, client told the hotel staff…long story short, during the break I was cutting a cake (did not intend for a rhyme here I swear) in front of colleagues and clients…Very much amusing and very much embarrassing.
Long week hence the short sentences…tired, aching and two drinks short of content.

Letter

Hey,
You said my gift was to write. I pondered upon it for a month and in between wrote what I thought appropriate. How funny it is that I write my heart out at my worst times. It only reiterates the words, a poet needs his pain After writing boy your gonna carry that weight a long time,I couldn’t write, I refused to write any further about pain. Was afraid that in some ways it would force me to put down in words these things and then it would somehow be real and I would have to start believing it.Work is great; am eager about Monday mornings but the downside is that I sometimes don’t want to come home cause it would then leave me time to think and thinking hasn’t always worked out for me…J…You said to write through this(and somehow I thought of a letter)So I am.
Wrote this letter hopefully it will be a single and not a series. If it is a series I will have to name it after that line from nights in white satin.Thanks man for your patience with me. These words are foolish and make me cringe.Take care dudeYou were right about me , I wanted to take that job and move out of the country, I was attempting to run away from things.

BR


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From the "Letters I’ve written never meaning to send" Series

Hi…and also hi for all those times I wished I could say hi and fell short of courage.
How have you been??. You look well and I hope all has been well.
I have been finding it difficult to speak to you cause I wasn’t sure…I didn’t want to disturb your peace.
Straight off, I want to say I am sorry for my anger it was mine alone and I have no excuses for it.
Some truths, which I have never had the guts to say to anyone, I have thought of you possible everyday. And maybe hoped that you were thinking of me too. And yes I have missed you. Somehow it was easier to miss you when you were away.
More recently I have been thinking contemplating wondering thinking about things.
I don’t think I could go through all we went through with someone else. Not just because of the promises that we made but more over the promises I made to myself. I can’t see myself with someone else, it just wouldn’t be right.


Me