Boy you’re gonna carry that weight a long time

As I stepped out onto the street and smelled the 2am air, I smiled to myself. It was cold and familiar yet fresh.
Had mixed emotions of leaving, it wasn’t like it was a given that it was going to be forever but it could turn into it. Knowing me it probably would.
Sudden changes make your choices for you, which is probably a good thing if you’re as indecisive as I had been.
I turned the corner, a cab passed coming up from behind me. It stopped with its brake lights lit up so bright; I reached the cab unable to take my eyes off the rectangular reds. The door swung open and a couple stepped out. I nodded my hellos as I walked past them.
Sweet jazz was streaming out from the cab. It was perfect.
I crossed the street right in front of the cab, knowing I was being watched.
Kept walking until I hit the big sign, I doubt it had changed in years. Seeing its neon pink glow always let me know of how close to home I was.
Coming here hadn’t made sense earlier but then some dreams take up too much space.
I wondered what everyone was doing right about now. I bet they were all busy with their days, looked at the clock to see if I could call anyone. Nah! It was a silly idea. I was enjoying the silence far too much to disturb it.

Walking past the old theater, it seemed more defined now that it didn’t have a throng of people walking past it. I noticed its posters for the first time and made a mental note to pay more attention to it during the day.

“You’re a bloody freak, you feel the need to live and relive your pain with a sadistic loom, man you need to move on” he said in ways only a best bud can.

I was thinking...and my feet seemed to move to the pace of Roxy musics “more than this”
Next up was Crowded house with “Pineapple head”


Days have turned uneasy; it was unexpected but definitely not unexplained
Okay so I’m hung up. Hung up on stuff that I can’t change…I tried hard to with ways that I know how…I drank and I wrote… but to no avail.
I am scared to say anything to anyone cause if I did I would have to start believing it and that would only make it worse.
The radio doesn’t help. It just keeps playing songs like these moments but who needs the radio when the playlist in your head is melancholic enough to keep you awake.